Two and a Half Men: Season 7

2009 · 22 episodes · ★ 6.9

What Season 7 of Two and a Half Men

Charlie Harper has realized that Chelsea is the best choice for him and decides to make an effort so he doesn't lose her. He resolves to be polite to her parents, pretend to listen when she talks and stay faithful to her, though it's hard for him. His brother Alan, convinced that his hair is what keeps him from attracting women, tries a hair spray to change his luck. Jake, meanwhile, looks for advice on navigating complicated teen dating. The three Harper men, clueless when it comes to love, share a house in Malibu full of blunders, tangles and jokes.

22episodes

Sep 21, 2009premiered

May 24, 2010latest episode

7.5 hrtotal runtime

Season 7 Episodes

7x01 818-JKLPUZO
Sep 21, 2009 · 21 min · ★ 7.4
Charlie must make a difficult decision about his future and with which woman he wants to spend his life: Chelsea or Mia.
Directed by: James Widdoes · Writers: Eddie Gorodetsky, Susan Beavers, Don Foster · Starring: Eddie Van Halen, Will Sasso, Jennifer Bini Taylor, Kelly Stables
7x02 Whipped Unto the Third Generation
Sep 28, 2009 · 20 min · ★ 7.3
When Chelsea convinces Charlie to let Alan's new girlfriend, Melissa, move in, the girls end up taking over Charlie's house.
Directing: James Widdoes · Writing: Mark Roberts · Starring: Jennifer Bini Taylor, Kelly Stables, Tinashe
7x03 Mmm, Fish. Yum.
Oct 5, 2009 · 19 min · ★ 7.2
Alan ends up playing maid to Judith's new baby as well as his former mother-in-law. Meanwhile, Jake uses an incriminating photo to blackmail Charlie.
Directing: James Widdoes · Writing: Jim Patterson, Eddie Gorodetsky, Susan Beavers · Starring: Marin Hinkle, Annie Potts, David Mattey, Ryan Stiles
7x04 Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
Oct 12, 2009 · 20 min · ★ 7.2
Alan starts working for Evelyn as Charlie works to fix the relationship between Chelsea and Jake.
Directed by: James Widdoes · Writers: Mark Roberts, Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre · Starring: Kelly Stables, Gerald Brodin, Caroline Bielskis, Scott McShane
7x05 For the Sake of the Child
Oct 19, 2009 · 21 min · ★ 7.1
Jake stops at nothing to get away from Charlie and Alan, after they embarrass him out in public.
Directing: James Widdoes · Writing: Jim Patterson, Don Foster · Starring: Marin Hinkle, Paulina Olszynski, Skyler Caleb
7x06 Give Me Your Thumb
Nov 2, 2009 · 20 min · ★ 7.5
Alan's advice to Chelsea that she get breast-reduction surgery is not met with enthusiasm by Charlie, who kicks him out, but staying with Evelyn has its own challenges.
Directing: James Widdoes · Writing: David Richardson · Starring: Steve Hytner, Claudia Choi
7x07 Untainted by Filth
Nov 9, 2009 · 22 min · ★ 7.4
Alan and Charlie are shocked when they wake up next to a strange woman, and try to find out what happened.
Directing: James Widdoes · Writing: Jim Patterson, Eddie Gorodetsky, Susan Beavers · Starring: Arthur Darbinyan, Arturo Gil, Joe Gieb, Kevin Bickford
7x08 Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.
Nov 16, 2009 · 20 min · ★ 6.7
While overcoming a bad break-up, Chelsea invites her beautiful college roommate to stay at the house.
Directing: James Widdoes · Writing: Jim Patterson, Eddie Gorodetsky, Susan Beavers · Starring: Tricia Helfer, Robert Clotworthy
7x09 Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
Nov 23, 2009 · 21 min · ★ 7.4
While Alan struggles to cure his baldness, Charlie deals with the problem that he can't satisfy Chelsea.
Directing: James Widdoes · Writing: Mark Roberts, Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre
7x10 That's Why They Call It "Ball Room"
Dec 7, 2009 · 20 min · ★ 6.5
Chelsea wants Charlie to take dancing lessons for the wedding, when Charlie uncovers the truth that Chelsea has been lying about her finances.
Directed by: James Widdoes · Writers: Eddie Gorodetsky, Mark Roberts, Lee Aronsohn · Starring: Marin Hinkle, Jeanette O'Connor, Judith Drake, Philip Tanzini
7x11 Warning, It's Dirty Mid-Season Finale
Dec 14, 2009 · 19 min · ★ 7.4
Jake is taught the art of infidelity by Charlie, while Celeste is away for Christmas.
Directing: James Widdoes · Writing: Eddie Gorodetsky, Lee Aronsohn, Don Foster · Starring: Jennifer Bini Taylor, Tinashe, Ingrid Rogers, Julia K.
7x12 Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste
Jan 11, 2010 · 22 min · ★ 7.3
Jake hopes to win back Celeste by writing her love songs. Alan and Herb hope to keep Judith from finding out they've become friends.
Directed by: James Widdoes · Writers: Jim Patterson, Eddie Gorodetsky, Susan Beavers · Starring: Marin Hinkle, Ryan Stiles, Joe Dietl
7x13 Yay, No Polyps!
Jan 18, 2010 · 20 min · ★ 6.4
Charlie opts to have a colonoscopy in order to avoid going on a trip with Chelsea to see her parents. However, when he returns home, he finds her parents at his house.
Directed by: James Widdoes · Writers: Jim Patterson, Mark Roberts, Don Foster · Starring: Meagen Fay, Ewan Chung, Darryl Stephens, Adam Powell
7x14 Crude and Uncalled For
Feb 1, 2010 · 21 min · ★ 7.2
Charlie suspects Chelsea likes the lawyer representing Alan after his arrest for a bar fight.
Directing: James Widdoes · Writing: Eddie Gorodetsky, Mark Roberts, Don Foster · Starring: Lilli Birdsell, Mark Deklin, Lisa Kaplan, Steven Eckholdt
7x15 Aye, Aye, Captain Douche
Feb 8, 2010 · 22 min · ★ 6.1
Chelsea and Charlie's relationship is at risk when Charlie's jealousy comes between them.
Directed by: James Widdoes · Writers: Jim Patterson, Mark Roberts, Don Foster · Starring: Erin O'Shaughnessy, Jessica DiCicco
7x16 Tinkle Like a Princess
Mar 1, 2010 · 21 min · ★ 6.1
Charlie runs off to Vegas and returns with a new wife, but she's not Chelsea.
Directed by: James Widdoes · Writers: Jim Patterson, Mark Roberts, Don Foster · Starring: Marin Hinkle, Jeff Clarke, Tabitha Morella, Katy Mixon
7x17 I Found Your Moustache
Mar 8, 2010 · 21 min · ★ 5.9
Charlie and Chelsea have a post-breakup one-night stand.
Directing: James Widdoes · Writing: Jim Patterson, Eddie Gorodetsky, Don Foster · Starring: Steven Eckholdt, John Amos, Stacy Keach
7x18 Ixnay on the Oggie Day
Mar 22, 2010 · 21 min · ★ 6.6
Charlie has a return engagement with Chelsea's best friend, while Alan has an unexpected effect on a new female patient.
Directing: James Widdoes · Writing: Mark Roberts, Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre · Starring: Tricia Helfer, Frances Fisher, Amy Hill
7x19 Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave
Apr 12, 2010 · 18 min · ★ 6.5
Alan is torn between the bad influence of Jake's new friend and the hotness of his mother.
Directing: James Widdoes · Writing: Jim Patterson, Eddie Gorodetsky · Starring: Steffani Brass, Brooke Mackenzie, John Pirruccello, Eamon Pirruccello
7x20 I Called Him Magoo
May 10, 2010 · 21 min · ★ 6.3
Alan tries for an intimate night at a hotel with his new girlfriend, while Charlie takes a different approach to obtain the "girlfriend experience"
Directing: James Widdoes · Writing: Mark Roberts, Susan Beavers, Don Foster · Starring: Elizabeth Ho, Graham Patrick Martin, Courtney Thorne-Smith
7x21 Gumby with a Pokey
May 17, 2010 · 21 min · ★ 7.5
Charlie is visited by the ghosts of his ex-girlfriends while Alan and Jake are on a road trip.
Directed by: James Widdoes · Writers: David Richardson, Jim Patterson, Eddie Gorodetsky · Starring: Melanie Lynskey, Katherine LaNasa, Ming-Na Wen, Martin Mull
7x22 This Is Not Gonna End Well Season Finale
May 24, 2010 · 21 min · ★ 6.2
Charlie is miffed over Alan's planned attendance of Chelsea's birthday party and suffers the indignity of having Jake chauffer him around following a license suspension.
Directing: Lee Aronsohn · Writing: Jim Patterson, Eddie Gorodetsky, Susan Beavers · Starring: John Amos, Richard Whiten, Stacy Keach, Eben Ham