Two and a Half Men: Season 9

2011 · 24 episodes · ★ 5.3

What Season 9 of Two and a Half Men

Season nine begins when Alan Harper and his son Jake are left homeless. Their salvation arrives in the form of Walden Schmidt, a tech magnate who buys the Malibu beach house and offers them a place to stay. Walden has just split from Bridget, and that breakup weighs on much of the episodes. Alan, broke and very lonely, tries to rebuild his life through unstable relationships, while Jake grows up and starts making his own decisions. Walden, for his part, moves between Lyndsey, Zoey, and his desire to win back what he has lost. The three of them share a roof and problems, and little by little they form a makeshift family.

24episodes

Sep 19, 2011premiered

May 14, 2012latest episode

8.2 hrtotal runtime

Season 9 Episodes

9x01 Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt
Sep 19, 2011 · 21 min · ★ 5.0
Alan and Jake meet Walden Schmidt, a broken-hearted billionaire.
Directing: James Widdoes · Writers: Jim Patterson, Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn · Starring: Holland Taylor, Marin Hinkle, Jennifer Bini Taylor, Melanie Lynskey
9x02 People Who Love Peepholes
Sep 26, 2011 · 21 min · ★ 5.3
Walden deals with his ex-wife, Bridget.
Directing: James Widdoes · Writers: Jim Patterson, Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn · Starring: Holland Taylor, Stephanie Jacobsen, Judy Greer
9x03 Big Girls Don't Throw Food
Oct 3, 2011 · 20 min · ★ 5.2
Alan prepares Walden for a date with Bridget, while Jake decides to emulate Walden and drop out of school.
Directed by: James Widdoes · Writers: Jim Patterson, Eddie Gorodetsky · Starring: Marin Hinkle, Nicole J. Butler, Amira Elliby, Emile Ballard
9x04 Nine Magic Fingers
Oct 10, 2011 · 21 min · ★ 4.9
Walden goes looking for Mrs. Right while Alan has an opportunity to reconcile with Lyndsey.
Directing: James Widdoes · Writers: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre · Starring: Marin Hinkle, Grady Lee Richmond, Jenny McCarthy, Judy Greer
9x05 A Giant Cat Holding a Churro
Oct 17, 2011 · 20 min · ★ 5.4
Alan has trouble accepting Lyndsey's seedy movie past, and Walden tries to cheer him up by throwing a party.
Directed by: James Widdoes · Writers: David Richardson, Don Reo, Susan Beavers · Starring: Nikki Novak, Nicholas Gonzalez, Katie Stegeman, Courtney Thorne-Smith
9x06 The Squat and Hover
Oct 24, 2011 · 21 min · ★ 5.1
Walden receives divorce papers from Bridget, but forgets his depression when he meets a girl who looks eerily like her.
Directing: James Widdoes · Writers: David Richardson, Don Reo, Susan Beavers · Starring: Joe Manganiello, Monika Smith, Shon Little, Jane Lynch
9x07 Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
Oct 31, 2011 · 19 min · ★ 5.4
Jake has a crush on his chemistry tutor, who has a crush on Walden. Meanwhile, Alan obsesses over the journal his brother left him in his will.
Directed by: James Widdoes · Writers: Jim Patterson, Eddie Gorodetsky · Starring: Holland Taylor, Macey Cruthird
9x08 Thank You for the Intercourse
Nov 7, 2011 · 21 min · ★ 5.8
When Walden begins redecorating the beach house, Alan becomes overly emotional.
Directing: James Widdoes · Writers: Jim Patterson, Eddie Gorodetsky, Lee Aronsohn · Starring: Taylor Cole, Amanda Schull, Zaid Farid, Michael Bailey Smith
9x09 Frodo's Headshots
Nov 14, 2011 · 21 min · ★ 6.0
Upon his release from the hospital, Alan is met with a slew of challenges that test his ability to cope.
Directing: James Widdoes · Writers: David Richardson, Don Reo, Susan Beavers · Starring: Holland Taylor, Marin Hinkle, Gary Busey, Vernee Watson
9x10 A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
Nov 21, 2011 · 21 min · ★ 5.3
Walden hits it off with a British babe, but neither of them is sure he's ready to re-enter the dating world.
Directing: James Widdoes · Writers: Jim Patterson, Eddie Gorodetsky, Lee Aronsohn · Starring: Holland Taylor, Jonathan Banks, Sophie Winkleman
9x11 What a Lovely Landing Strip
Dec 5, 2011 · 20 min · ★ 5.5
Walden is trying his best to impress his new love interest when Bridget reappears in his life.
Directed by: James Widdoes · Writers: Jim Patterson, Don Reo, Eddie Gorodetsky · Starring: Melanie Lynskey, Jeff Staron, Karen Y. McClain, Robert Clotworthy
9x12 One False Move, Zimbabwe! Mid-Season Finale
Dec 12, 2011 · 21 min · ★ 5.1
Walden's mother arrives and Alan is smitten with her, even as she reveals a secret about Walden's past that sends him into a downward spiral.
Directed by: James Widdoes · Writers: Jim Patterson, Don Reo, Eddie Gorodetsky · Starring: Jane Carr, Jim Piddock, John Pirruccello, Mimi Rogers
9x13 Slowly and in a Circular Fashion
Jan 2, 2012 · 20 min · ★ 5.2
Walden's ex-wife and mother try to take control of his company, so he turns to Alan for help.
Directed by: James Widdoes · Writers: Jim Patterson, Eddie Gorodetsky, Lee Aronsohn · Starring: Chuck Lacey, Mimi Rogers, Michael Medico, Sophie Winkleman
9x14 A Possum on Chemo
Jan 16, 2012 · 20 min · ★ 5.5
Zoey tries to convince Walden to cut his hair and shave; Alan and Lyndsey revive their relationship.
Directed by: James Widdoes · Writers: Jim Patterson, Eddie Gorodetsky, Chuck Lorre · Starring: Travis Van Winkle, Graham Patrick Martin, Sophie Winkleman, Courtney Thorne-Smith
9x15 The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack
Feb 6, 2012 · 21 min · ★ 5.3
Walden tries to loosen Zooey up by sharing some of Berta's special brownies.
Directed by: James Widdoes · Writers: Jim Patterson, Don Reo, Eddie Gorodetsky · Starring: Matthew Marsden, Sonia Jackson, Hira Ambrosino, Graham Patrick Martin
9x16 Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy
Feb 13, 2012 · 20 min · ★ 5.8
Strained relationships and girl-fighting result when a huge storm traps Walden, Alan, Zoey and Lyndsey in the house on Valentine's Day.
Directed by: James Widdoes · Writers: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre · Starring: Sophie Winkleman, Courtney Thorne-Smith
9x17 Not in My Mouth!
Feb 20, 2012 · 19 min · ★ 4.4
Walden and Zoey's relationship suffers after they share a near-death experience. Meanwhile, Alan wonders if Lyndsey has a drinking problem.
Directing: James Widdoes · Writers: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre · Starring: Matthew Marsden, Sara Erikson, Robert Clotworthy, Sophie Winkleman
9x18 The War Against Gingivitis
Feb 27, 2012 · 21 min · ★ 5.1
Walden's ex-business partner shows up at the beach house looking to make peace.
Directed by: James Widdoes · Writers: Jim Patterson, Don Reo, Eddie Gorodetsky · Starring: Patton Oswalt, Rebecca McFarland, Judy Greer
9x19 Palmdale, Ech
Mar 19, 2012 · 21 min · ★ 4.9
Alan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers. Jake and Eldridge get a ride from Walden to a party.
Directed by: James Widdoes · Writers: Jim Patterson, Don Reo, Eddie Gorodetsky · Starring: Holland Taylor, Georgia Engel, Brian Stepanek, Caitlin Harris
9x20 Grandma's Pie
Apr 9, 2012 · 21 min · ★ 4.7
Walden breaks the news to Zoey that he is going into business with his ex-wife. Alan and Lyndsey try to cope with their mom's relationship.
Directing: James Widdoes · Writers: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre · Starring: Holland Taylor, Georgia Engel, Graham Patrick Martin, Talyan Wright
9x21 Mr. Hose Says "Yes"
Apr 16, 2012 · 21 min · ★ 5.8
Walden's commitment is tested when Zoey and her daughter come to live with him. Meanwhile, Alan gets more than he bargained for when he moves in with Lyndsey
Directed by: James Widdoes · Writers: Jim Patterson, Don Reo, Eddie Gorodetsky · Starring: Graham Patrick Martin, Talyan Wright, Sophie Winkleman, Courtney Thorne-Smith
9x22 Why We Gave Up Women
Apr 30, 2012 · 21 min · ★ 6.0
Charlie's ghost pays a visit to Alan after he suffers a minor heart attack.
Directed by: James Widdoes · Writers: Jim Patterson, Don Reo, Eddie Gorodetsky · Starring: Holland Taylor, Marin Hinkle, Kathy Bates, Vernee Watson
9x23 The Straw in My Donut Hole
May 7, 2012 · 21 min · ★ 5.2
Alan is showered with love and affection upon returning from the hospital, but Zoey isn't so sure it's deserved.
Directed by: James Widdoes · Writers: Lee Aronsohn, Susan Beavers, Chuck Lorre · Starring: Holland Taylor, Marin Hinkle, Jason Alexander, Graham Patrick Martin
9x24 Oh Look! Al-Qaeda! Season Finale
May 14, 2012 · 21 min · ★ 5.8
Jake is pressured to make a decision about his future.
Directed by: James Widdoes · Writers: Jim Patterson, Don Reo, Eddie Gorodetsky · Starring: Holland Taylor, Marin Hinkle, Patton Oswalt, Chase Austin